Every year, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence reminds us of something many people would rather not think about: that violence, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, still touches far too many lives.

And yet, as difficult as it is to talk about, we must.

Because behind the statistics are people. Mothers, fathers, children, siblings, friends. People with dreams and stories, people who deserve to live without fear.

For me, this day is not just another date on the calendar. It’s deeply personal. Someone very close was in an abusive marriage for years. It was so difficult to watch and not be able to do anything. I also lost my youngest sister to suicide, and while her story is her own, I know violence, whether external or the quiet, inner violence of despair, was part of her struggle. That loss shaped my path. Today, as a Grief Specialist and Self-Care Guide, I help caring professionals, entrepreneurs, and business owners not only navigate loss but also build resilience so that life’s hardest blows don’t become the end of their story.

The Many Faces of Violence

When we hear the word “violence,” our minds often jump to physical harm. But violence shows up in many forms, some of them silent and hidden:

• Physical violence: Domestic abuse, assault, war, and systemic brutality.

• Emotional violence: Words used to belittle, control, or manipulate.

• Sexual violence: Violations that rob people of safety and dignity.

• Psychological violence: Isolation, intimidation, and fear that erodes a person’s sense of self.

• Self-directed violence: The harsh inner critic, destructive behaviours, and in heartbreaking cases, suicide.

Each form of violence leaves behind scars. Some are visible; many are not. And unresolved grief is often where the unseen wounds live.

The Link Between Violence, Grief, and Resilience

Grief doesn’t just follow loss through death, it often follows violence. Survivors may grieve for the person they once were, for the trust that was broken, or for the dreams that now feel out of reach.

And for those of us who have lost loved ones to suicide or violent circumstances, the grief is layered: sadness, anger, guilt, even shame. Sometimes people say, “It’s been years, shouldn’t you be over it by now?” But grief doesn’t work on a clock. It lingers until it’s addressed.

This is why resilience matters. Not the “just be strong” kind of resilience that society often demands, but the kind built through compassion, support, and gentle, practical tools. Resilience allows us not only to survive grief but also to grow through it to rebuild a sense of purpose, to reconnect with life, and to thrive again.

Why Breaking the Silence Matters

Violence thrives in silence.

• A child too afraid to tell anyone what’s happening at home.

• A colleague suffering in a toxic relationship who wears a brave smile at work.

• Someone quietly carrying the weight of suicidal thoughts because they fear being judged.

Breaking the silence doesn’t just raise awareness, it saves lives. When we talk about violence and its impact, we create a culture where people know it’s safe to reach out.

If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of violence, or if you’ve lost someone to it, you’ll know how heavy silence feels. Speaking up is an act of courage. Listening without judgement is an act of love.

My Sister’s Story, My Mission

When my youngest sister died by suicide, the world around me changed in an instant. I carried unanswered questions, waves of sorrow, and the painful “what ifs” that so many survivors know too well.

For a long time, I thought time alone would heal me. It didn’t. What helped was learning that grief needs expression, not suppression. It needs safe spaces, honest conversations, and compassionate guidance.

That experience became my calling. Today, I guide professionals who, on the outside, seem to be coping but, on the inside, feel disconnected, exhausted, or stuck. Many of them carry silent grief from past experiences, including violence, that quietly affects their health, work, and relationships.

Helping them process that grief and rebuild their lives is how I honour my sister’s memory.

Building Resilience Against Violence and Loss

So, how do we move forward, personally and collectively?

Here are some steps that I’ve found make a real difference:

1. Acknowledge the pain – Pretending it’s not there only buries it deeper. Naming our experiences is the first act of healing.

2. Create safe spaces – Whether in families, workplaces, or communities, people need to know they can speak without fear of judgement

3. Strengthen support networks – Connection is a powerful antidote to the isolation violence often breeds.

4. Practise compassionate self-care – Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s survival. Rest, nourishment, and boundaries give us the strength to heal.

5. Seek professional guidance when needed – Sometimes, the load is too heavy to carry alone. That’s where grief specialists and other trained professionals can help.

A Question for You

On this International Day for the Elimination of Violence, I want to ask you:

• Where in your life might silence be hiding pain?

• What step, no matter how small, could you take to acknowledge it?

Perhaps it’s confiding in a trusted friend. Perhaps it’s journaling your thoughts. Or perhaps it’s taking a gentle first step like a self-assessment quiz, which can help you see where you stand in your grief or wellbeing journey.

A Gentle Next Step

If any of this has resonated with you, I invite you to take one of my free quizzes:

Hidden Wellbeing Gaps Quiz – to uncover the subtle areas of your wellbeing that might be quietly draining your energy and resilience

Grief Assessment Quiz – to help you understand whether unresolved grief may be holding you back.

Both take less than 10 minutes and can give you valuable insights about where you are now and what might help you move forward.

Final Reflection

Violence, whether against others or ourselves, leaves deep marks. But grief doesn’t have to be a life sentence. With compassion, courage, and resilience, healing is possible.

As we mark this International Day for the Elimination of Violence, may we commit to breaking silence, supporting each other, and choosing hope.

And if you’re reading this feeling the weight of loss, please know: you are not alone, and healing is possible.

Take a breath. Take a step. And when you’re ready, take the quiz. It might just be the beginning of your journey back to yourself.

Reflect on what you’ve read. Share this blog with someone who might need it. And if you’re ready, take one of my free quizzes to gently discover where you are on your journey.