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Understanding Grief: How to Support a Loved One on Their Grief Journey
Grief is a deeply personal and often overwhelming experience—whether it’s anticipatory grief, complicated grief, or the raw pain following the death of a loved one. When someone close to us is grieving, it can be hard to know how to help. You might worry about saying the wrong thing, doing too much or too little, or not being able to relate at all.
As a certified Grief Specialist, I’m here to gently guide you. This blog post offers practical, heartfelt advice on how to truly support someone through their grief—whether it’s a friend, colleague, partner, or child.
We’ll look at:
How to listen with empathy
Why timelines for grief vary
Ways to offer real, practical support
The power of memories and mindful communication
When it might be time to suggest professional help
Let’s walk through how you can be a comforting presence during someone’s most difficult time.
1. Listen with an Open Heart
Grieving people often carry emotions they struggle to express. One of the kindest things you can do is simply listen—without judging, correcting, or rushing them.
Tips for active listening:
Put your phone and distractions aside
Make gentle eye contact
Nod and use body language to show you’re present
Let them repeat things—it’s part of processing
Avoid jumping in with advice. Instead, hold space for their sadness, anger, guilt, or silence. Just being there without trying to fix them can mean the world.
2. Respect Their Timeline
Grief has no set schedule. Some days may feel manageable, others unbearable—and this can go on for months or even years.
What helps:
Avoid phrases like “It’s time to move on” or “You should be over it by now”
Be aware of dates and triggers—anniversaries, birthdays, or holidays may resurface pain
Let them know it’s OK to grieve in their own time
Your understanding and patience can make all the difference.
3. Offer Practical Support
When someone’s grieving, even simple tasks can feel exhausting. I remember my younger brother telling me how hard it was just to make a cup of tea when he was deep in grief.
Ways you can help:
Drop off a home-cooked meal
Offer to do the food shop or school run
Help with laundry, cleaning, or admin
Instead of saying, “Let me know how I can help,” try something more specific like:
“Would you prefer I cook a meal or pick up some groceries for you?”
Being specific makes it easier for them to say yes.
4. Share Fond Memories
Talking about the person who has died can bring comfort. Encourage them to share stories or memories—and share your own, too, if it feels right.
Hearing someone else's happy or funny memory can offer moments of warmth during a heavy time. It can remind the bereaved person that their loved one made a lasting impact.
5. Be Mindful of What You Say
Sometimes well-meant words can hurt. Try to avoid clichés like:
“Everything happens for a reason”
“They’re in a better place”
“At least they lived a long life”
Instead, say things like:
“I’m here for you.”
“I can’t imagine how hard this must be, but I care.”
Or simply… just listen.
Empathy matters far more than trying to explain the loss.
6. Encourage Professional Help If Needed
You don’t have to have all the answers. If someone’s grief is starting to affect their mental health—perhaps they’re struggling to function, feeling hopeless, or withdrawing completely—it might be time to suggest they speak to a professional.
You could say:
“Have you thought about speaking to a Grief Specialist? You don’t have to go through this alone.”
If you’re not sure where to start, I offer a free, no-pressure connection call where we can gently explore what kind of support may help.
👉 Click here to book a free 30-minute call
7. Respect Their Boundaries
Grief comes with waves. Sometimes they’ll want company. Other times, they’ll need space. Let them lead, and tune into their cues.
You might say:
“Would you like me to stay for a bit or would you prefer time to yourself?”
“I’ll be nearby if you want to talk or just sit in silence.”
Being available without being overbearing creates trust.
8. Be There on Special Days
Anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays can be especially painful. Don’t avoid them—ask how your loved one would like to mark the day.
Ideas that help:
Light a candle in memory together
Share a meal and talk about their loved one
Support them if they prefer to spend it alone
Let them choose what feels right—and honour it.
9. Educate Yourself About Grief
Understanding grief makes you a more compassionate support. If you’ve never experienced significant loss, it might feel difficult to relate. That’s OK.
But by learning more about grief, you’ll feel more confident and connected in how you support others.
👉 Download my free guide: 10 Common Mistakes When Supporting Someone Dealing with Loss
10. Don’t Forget Your Own Wellbeing
Supporting someone through grief can be emotionally demanding. You might feel helpless, exhausted, or overwhelmed yourself—and that’s completely normal.
Look after yourself by:
Speaking to someone you trust
Taking breaks when needed
Doing things that lift your own spirits
Reaching out to a Grief Specialist if you’re struggling
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s what allows you to keep showing up with love and presence.
Final Thoughts: A Compassionate Role That Makes a Difference
Supporting someone through grief is one of the most loving and meaningful things you can do. It doesn’t require perfect words or grand gestures—just your steady, caring presence.
Grief can feel like a lonely road, but with the right support, healing is possible.
Thank you for showing up with empathy and heart. Your kindness can truly change someone’s world.
Feeling unsure how to help someone who’s grieving?
Take a few minutes to explore where you're at with supporting others by taking my free Self-Assessment Quiz
Or if you’re looking for personal guidance, book a free connection call:
And don’t forget to join my free community for tips, support, and to ask questions:
👉 Join the Handling Grief Facebook Group
Understanding Grief: How to Support a Loved One on Their Grief Journey
Grief is a deeply personal and often overwhelming experience—whether it’s anticipatory grief, complicated grief, or the raw pain following the death of a loved one. When someone close to us is grieving, it can be hard to know how to help. You might worry about saying the wrong thing, doing too much or too little, or not being able to relate at all.
As a certified Grief Specialist, I’m here to gently guide you. This blog post offers practical, heartfelt advice on how to truly support someone through their grief—whether it’s a friend, colleague, partner, or child.
We’ll look at:
How to listen with empathy
Why timelines for grief vary
Ways to offer real, practical support
The power of memories and mindful communication
When it might be time to suggest professional help
Let’s walk through how you can be a comforting presence during someone’s most difficult time.
1. Listen with an Open Heart
Grieving people often carry emotions they struggle to express. One of the kindest things you can do is simply listen—without judging, correcting, or rushing them.
Tips for active listening:
Put your phone and distractions aside
Make gentle eye contact
Nod and use body language to show you’re present
Let them repeat things—it’s part of processing
Avoid jumping in with advice. Instead, hold space for their sadness, anger, guilt, or silence. Just being there without trying to fix them can mean the world.
2. Respect Their Timeline
Grief has no set schedule. Some days may feel manageable, others unbearable—and this can go on for months or even years.
What helps:
Avoid phrases like “It’s time to move on” or “You should be over it by now”
Be aware of dates and triggers—anniversaries, birthdays, or holidays may resurface pain
Let them know it’s OK to grieve in their own time
Your understanding and patience can make all the difference.
3. Offer Practical Support
When someone’s grieving, even simple tasks can feel exhausting. I remember my younger brother telling me how hard it was just to make a cup of tea when he was deep in grief.
Ways you can help:
Drop off a home-cooked meal
Offer to do the food shop or school run
Help with laundry, cleaning, or admin
Instead of saying, “Let me know how I can help,” try something more specific like:
“Would you prefer I cook a meal or pick up some groceries for you?”
Being specific makes it easier for them to say yes.
4. Share Fond Memories
Talking about the person who has died can bring comfort. Encourage them to share stories or memories—and share your own, too, if it feels right.
Hearing someone else's happy or funny memory can offer moments of warmth during a heavy time. It can remind the bereaved person that their loved one made a lasting impact.
5. Be Mindful of What You Say
Sometimes well-meant words can hurt. Try to avoid clichés like:
“Everything happens for a reason”
“They’re in a better place”
“At least they lived a long life”
Instead, say things like:
“I’m here for you.”
“I can’t imagine how hard this must be, but I care.”
Or simply… just listen.
Empathy matters far more than trying to explain the loss.
6. Encourage Professional Help If Needed
You don’t have to have all the answers. If someone’s grief is starting to affect their mental health—perhaps they’re struggling to function, feeling hopeless, or withdrawing completely—it might be time to suggest they speak to a professional.
You could say:
“Have you thought about speaking to a Grief Specialist? You don’t have to go through this alone.”
If you’re not sure where to start, I offer a free, no-pressure connection call where we can gently explore what kind of support may help.
👉 Click here to book a free 30-minute call
7. Respect Their Boundaries
Grief comes with waves. Sometimes they’ll want company. Other times, they’ll need space. Let them lead, and tune into their cues.
You might say:
“Would you like me to stay for a bit or would you prefer time to yourself?”
“I’ll be nearby if you want to talk or just sit in silence.”
Being available without being overbearing creates trust.
8. Be There on Special Days
Anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays can be especially painful. Don’t avoid them—ask how your loved one would like to mark the day.
Ideas that help:
Light a candle in memory together
Share a meal and talk about their loved one
Support them if they prefer to spend it alone
Let them choose what feels right—and honour it.
9. Educate Yourself About Grief
Understanding grief makes you a more compassionate support. If you’ve never experienced significant loss, it might feel difficult to relate. That’s OK.
But by learning more about grief, you’ll feel more confident and connected in how you support others.
👉 Download my free guide: 10 Common Mistakes When Supporting Someone Dealing with Loss
10. Don’t Forget Your Own Wellbeing
Supporting someone through grief can be emotionally demanding. You might feel helpless, exhausted, or overwhelmed yourself—and that’s completely normal.
Look after yourself by:
Speaking to someone you trust
Taking breaks when needed
Doing things that lift your own spirits
Reaching out to a Grief Specialist if you’re struggling
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s what allows you to keep showing up with love and presence.
Final Thoughts: A Compassionate Role That Makes a Difference
Supporting someone through grief is one of the most loving and meaningful things you can do. It doesn’t require perfect words or grand gestures—just your steady, caring presence.
Grief can feel like a lonely road, but with the right support, healing is possible.
Thank you for showing up with empathy and heart. Your kindness can truly change someone’s world.
Feeling unsure how to help someone who’s grieving?
Take a few minutes to explore where you're at with supporting others by taking my free Self-Assessment Quiz
Or if you’re looking for personal guidance, book a free connection call:
And don’t forget to join my free community for tips, support, and to ask questions:
👉 Join the Handling Grief Facebook Group
© 2024 Handling Grief
© 2024 Handling Grief