Grief is a deeply personal and often overwhelming experience. It touches every part of life—your emotions, relationships, even your ability to function day to day. While it’s important to give yourself space to grieve, opening up to trusted friends, family members, or colleagues can be a powerful step towards healing.

Unspoken emotions can weigh heavily. Suppressing your grief may lead to complicated grief, strain your mental health, and affect your relationships. But when shared with the right people, your pain can feel lighter—and your support network stronger.

In this post, we’ll explore how to communicate your grief with those around you in a way that’s helpful, respectful, and healing—for both you and them.

1. Start by Acknowledging Your Grief

Before you can explain what you’re going through, you need to be honest with yourself about how you’re feeling.

• Grief doesn’t always look the same. You might feel:

• Sadness, guilt, or regret

• Anger or bitterness

• Numbness or confusion

• A sense of being completely overwhelmed

It’s also not limited to bereavement. You can grieve after divorce, redundancy, retirement, illness, or any significant life change. In fact, there are over 40 different life events that can trigger feelings of loss and grief.

Recognising and naming your emotions is the first step towards expressing them clearly and receiving support in return.

2. Choose the Right Person, Time and Place

When you’re ready to talk, it’s important to think about who you share with—and when.

Look for someone you trust, who is likely to respond with compassion and kindness. Then, choose a quiet setting where you won’t be interrupted.

Personal story: After losing my older brother, I started pouring out my heart to anyone who asked how I was—even in a supermarket queue! One day, I ran into someone I knew and launched into my grief without warning. I soon realised he was shuffling awkwardly, unsure how to respond. It wasn’t the right time or place, and he wasn’t the right person.

Instead, try this:

• Let the person know you'd like to talk about something important

• Ask if now is a good time or if another moment might suit better

• Be mindful of their emotional state too

3. Be Honest and Vulnerable

In some families or cultures, showing emotion is seen as a weakness. You might feel pressure to stay strong or avoid upsetting others.

But being emotionally honest takes courage—and it builds deeper connections.

Let yourself be real. Talk about how the loss has affected you mentally, physically, emotionally and even spiritually. Share your memories. Tell the truth about how you're coping (or not coping). You don’t need to have the answers—just being genuine is enough.

4. Use “I” Statements to Express Your Feelings

“I” statements help keep the conversation focused on your experience without making others feel defensive.

For example:

• “I’m feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.”

• “I’m finding it hard to get through the day.”

• “I need someone to just sit with me while I talk.”

This approach:

• Encourages empathy

• Avoids blame or conflict

• Reminds you that you have the power to choose how you respond to what’s happened

5. Be Patient with Others

Even the most caring people might not know what to say or do when you're grieving. Sadly, grief is something we’re rarely taught how to understand—or support others through.

Personal story: After my mum died, someone told me, “You mustn’t cry—you have to be strong for your siblings.” I took that advice to heart for years. Every time I wanted to cry, I reminded myself not to. It kept me stuck in my grief, unable to process my emotions properly.

Your loved ones may not get it right. They might say the wrong thing or struggle with their own feelings. Be patient with them, and if it helps, share this free guide:

👉 10 Common Mistakes When Supporting Someone Dealing with Loss

6. Let People Know What You Need

People often want to help—but they may not know how. Tell them clearly what kind of support you need. It could be:

• A listening ear (not solutions or advice)

• Some quiet time alone

• Help with everyday tasks

• Just someone to sit with you

I used to share my feelings with my husband, hoping to be heard. He thought he needed to fix the problem. When I told him I didn’t want solutions—just his quiet presence—he was relieved. It took the pressure off both of us.

Being specific helps others support you in the way that feels most comforting.

7. Seek Professional Support If You’re Struggling

Sometimes, friends and family aren’t enough. If your grief feels complicated, prolonged, or simply too heavy to carry alone, speaking to a Grief Specialist can make a real difference.

Professional support can help you:

• Understand and process unresolved grief

• Develop coping strategies

• Communicate your needs more effectively

• Navigate complicated family dynamics during loss

You may also benefit from joining a support group or accessing resources from trusted organisations like Cruse Bereavement Support or Child Bereavement UK.

8. Understand That People React Differently

Not everyone will respond to your grief in the same way. Some might offer constant support. Others may pull away—especially if they’re dealing with their own grief or emotional wounds.

Your usual support network may be struggling too, even if they don’t show it. In these cases, it might help to express your feelings in different ways—such as:

• Writing in a grief journal

• Creating something artistic

• Talking to someone else you trust

Try not to take it personally if someone isn’t able to show up for you right now. Everyone’s doing their best, in their own way.

Final Thoughts: Grief Needs a Voice

Our instinct is often to withdraw or “stay strong,” but grief needs to be witnessed. Talking about it with someone you trust can be an essential step toward healing.

So take your time. Choose your people. Be open, patient, and kind to yourself along the way. And remember—you don’t have to go through this alone.

Ready to explore how you're coping with grief?

Read my article Is Unresolved Grief Holding You Back and take the free Self-Assessment Quiz to better understand where you are on your healing journey.

👉 Take the quiz now

Or, if you’d prefer to talk it through, book a free discovery call to discuss how I can support you.

👉 Book a call

You deserve support that truly helps.