Did you know that over 40 different life events can trigger feelings of grief and loss?

Grief is often thought of as something we only experience after a death. But it’s much broader than that. Grief can follow a job loss, the end of a relationship, a miscarriage, a serious health diagnosis, or even the loss of a beloved pet.

These experiences can leave us feeling emotionally shattered, confused, and overwhelmed. In the early days, you may feel numb. Grief can be a rollercoaster of emotions—especially without the right support or healthy coping tools.

In this blog post, we’ll explore what grief really is, what causes it, how it affects us, and why it deserves our attention—especially if you're a professional trying to function under the weight of personal loss.

What Is Grief?

A Natural Response to Loss

The Grief Recovery Institute, where I trained, defines grief as a normal and natural reaction to any kind of significant loss. It's the mix of conflicting emotions we feel when something familiar ends or changes.

This definition is helpful because it highlights something crucial: grief is not a sign of weakness. It’s not a mental illness. And it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Every experience is unique—just like every relationship is unique.

It’s Not Just About Death

Grief can arise from many situations, such as:

• Losing your job

• Going through a divorce or break-up

• A loved one receiving a terminal diagnosis

• A child moving away

• The loss of financial stability

• Retirement

• Moving house

• Miscarriage or infertility

• Death of a pet

Each of these can bring deep emotional pain and disorientation. Grief is not limited to bereavement—and it’s important that we stop treating it as if it is.

Myths and Misunderstandings About Grief

There are a lot of common myths about grief that do more harm than good. Let's address a few of them.

“Time heals all wounds”

This is one of the most misleading ideas about grief. Time alone doesn’t heal. It’s what you do with that time that matters.

“You should be over it by now”

There is no timeline for grief. Everyone moves through it at their own pace. Some wounds take longer to heal, and that’s okay.

“Be strong for others”

You don’t have to hold everything together. Being vulnerable is not a weakness—it’s human. And it’s often the first step to real healing.

Why Your Grief Feels So Complex

Everyone Grieves Differently

There’s no neat, five-stage process to follow. You might feel sad, then angry, then fine for a while—only to feel heartbroken again out of nowhere. That’s normal.

Grief is messy and unpredictable. The “stages of grief” model, while well-known, was actually developed for people facing death—not those grieving a loss. Trying to follow it like a checklist can add pressure and confusion.

There’s No Hierarchy in Grief

It’s not helpful to compare one loss to another. The loss of a pet can be just as painful as losing a close relative. Why? Because grief is about the meaning and emotional connection behind the relationship—not the label we put on it.

You feel your grief at 100%, regardless of how others perceive it.

The Lingering Burden of Unresolved Grief

When grief isn’t properly acknowledged or processed, it doesn’t just disappear. It builds. It becomes a weight we carry silently—sometimes for years.

Here are three common sources of unresolved grief:

1. Wishing things had been different

You may find yourself replaying conversations or moments, thinking:

• “I should have said more.”

• “I wish I’d done things differently.”

• “If only I’d been there.”

These regrets can lead to guilt and prolonged sadness.

Personal example:

When my younger sister died by suicide after our brother’s sudden death, I was overwhelmed with guilt. I kept thinking of the things I could have said or done to make a difference.

2. Shattered hopes and dreams

Sometimes it’s not just the person we lose—it’s the future we imagined with them.

Personal example:

After two sons, I was thrilled to be pregnant with a baby girl. I began dreaming about our future together. But after a miscarriage, those dreams were gone. The grief was not just about the pregnancy—it was about losing the daughter I never got to know.

3. Unspoken words and emotions

Sometimes we miss the chance to say what matters most—and that can leave a lasting ache.

Personal example:

Just before my mum went on holiday, I wanted to hug her and say, “I love you.” But I held back. I thought I’d have time. She passed away while abroad, and I spent years regretting that missed moment.

How Grief Affects Your Mind, Body, and Spirit

Grief doesn’t just live in your heart—it impacts your whole life. Here’s how:

Physical symptoms:

• Exhaustion and fatigue

• Changes in sleep and appetite

• Weakened immune system

• Neglecting self-care

Mental symptoms:

• Difficulty concentrating

• Memory lapses

• Indecisiveness

• Feeling demotivated

Emotional symptoms:

• Deep sadness or numbness

• Irritability or anger

• Guilt, regret, anxiety

• Suicidal thoughts or isolation

Spiritual symptoms:

• Loss of meaning or purpose

• Questioning your beliefs

• Feeling disconnected or empty

If you’re experiencing these symptoms and they’re affecting your work or day-to-day life, you’re not alone—and help is available.

When to Seek Professional Support

Grief is natural. But sometimes it becomes too heavy to carry on your own. You might benefit from specialist support if:

• Your sadness isn’t easing and feels stuck over time

• You’re struggling to function at work or in your relationships

• Your emotions feel overwhelming or unpredictable

• You’re having thoughts of hopelessness, or using harmful coping methods like alcohol, binge eating, or avoidance

• You suspect you have complicated grief, which can include intense yearning, avoidance, or the feeling that life has no meaning without the person you've lost

A Grief Specialist can guide you through the healing process with compassionate support and practical tools.

The Hidden Growth Within Grief

Grief can change us. Yes, it's painful—but it can also help us grow.

It can:

• Clarify what really matters

• Deepen our empathy and compassion

• Inspire us to live more intentionally

• Remind us to say “I love you” while we still can

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means remembering with love, honouring what was lost, and finding ways to live with meaning again.

Next Steps: You're Not Alone

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by grief, I want you to know this:

You are not broken.

You do not have to grieve alone.

And you deserve support that helps you move forward—not just “cope”.

🎯 Take the next step in your healing journey:

👉 Read this article: Is Unresolved Grief Holding You Back

It will help you recognise hidden signs of unresolved grief—and guide you to take the free self-assessment quiz: How well are you handling your grief?

Grief is a deeply personal journey—but with the right knowledge, support, and tools, you can begin to heal, reclaim your life, and move forward with hope.