Where were you on 11 September 2001?

Most of us can remember it as if it were yesterday – the moment we first saw the breaking news, the disbelief as the images unfolded, and the sinking feeling that the world we knew had changed forever. Some memories are so powerful that they live inside us, untouched by time.

For me, I remember my sons running into the room, wide-eyed and breathless. “Mum, come and see! It’s on all the channels, like when Princess Diana died!” My instinct was to tell them off for watching too much television, but curiosity made me follow them. And then I saw it.

At first, confusion. Then shock. Then horror as the first tower collapsed. And again with the second. Those haunting images, people desperately leaping from windows, dust and debris clouding the streets, families frantically searching for loved ones, remain etched in my mind, as they are for so many others I imagine.

Twenty-four years on, 9/11 is not just a historical event. It is a living memory, carried in the hearts of those who lost loved ones, those who survived, and those of us who bore witness from afar.

Why Time Alone Doesn’t Heal

There is a saying that time heals all wounds. But if you have ever carried unresolved grief, you know this simply isn’t true. Time may help us learn to live around the pain, but it does not magically dissolve the ache left behind.

Unresolved grief is like a quiet weight we carry. It can sit in the background for years, sometimes decades, sapping our energy, affecting our relationships, and dimming our joy, until one day we realise we’re not really living fully.

Surely, if time itself were the healer, then 24 years would be more than enough for those affected by 9/11 to be “over it.” But unresolved grief doesn’t work that way. It is not about the number of years that pass. It’s about what we do in that time, the steps we take, the support we receive, and the choices we make to work through our pain.

My Own Journey with Unresolved Grief

When my mum died, I was just 13. At that age, I was told by a well-meaning but misinformed neighbour that the best way to cope was to keep busy, stay strong for my brothers and sisters, not cry and push on. I told myself that time would make it better. After all, everyone told me that time’s the healer!

But at 31, when my brother died suddenly, I realised something important: the grief from losing my mum had never truly left me. It had been sitting there, quietly waiting, shaping the way I lived, the way I loved, and the way I carried myself in the world.

I had believed that giving it time was enough. But it wasn’t. What finally helped me was learning how to face my grief, process my unfinished thoughts and emotions, and begin to release the pain I had carried for so long.

This is why I speak so openly now, not only about my story, but also about the stories of others who are still navigating their way through loss. Because unresolved grief doesn’t disappear with the calendar years. It lingers, until we are ready to take action.

The Collective Grief of 9/11

The attacks on 9/11 created more than personal grief; they created collective grief. Entire communities and nations were shaken. Families were torn apart. Survivors carried not only their personal loss but also the trauma of having lived through such devastation.

And yet, grief shows up differently for each person. Some have found ways to honour their loved ones, rebuild their lives, and create meaning from loss. Others remain stuck, caught in cycles of sadness, regret, guilt, or anger, struggling to imagine a life beyond grief.

Both experiences are valid. Both deserve compassion.

But if you find yourself still stuck in pain, whether from 9/11 or from another loss, please know this: you do not have to stay there forever.

What Helps Us Heal

Healing is not about “moving on” or forgetting. It is about finding a way to resolve the unfinished business, undelivered communication and the loss of hopes, dreams and expectations. Once those issues are resolved, using the right knowledge, tools and processes, it is possible to reconnect with the fond memories and the gratitude we feel for all that was good in the relationship. We are also then able to accept the past and start being in the present and focusing on creating a future that honours the loved one.

Here are a few truths I’ve learned, both personally and in my work with clients:

• Grief is individual. There is no timeline, no universal path. Your journey is yours alone, and comparing it to others often makes things harder.

• Unfinished emotions need attention. Often, the deepest pain comes not from the loss itself but from words unsaid, apologies unspoken, hurts unexpressed and unforgiven, and gratitude not shared or dreams unfulfilled. Facing these emotions can bring immense relief.

• Action matters more than time. Healing requires intentional steps, whether through guided support, journaling, rituals, or structured programmes. Simply waiting might dull the pain but does not create lasting change.

• Connection helps. Grief can feel isolating, but sharing your story, being witnessed, and receiving compassionate support makes a real difference.

Holding Space on the 24th Anniversary

As we mark the 24th year since 9/11, I want to pause to honour all those affected. Those who died, those who survived, and those who still carry the invisible wounds of that day.

To those who are struggling with unresolved grief, whether from 9/11, suicide loss, or another heartbreak, I want to offer hope. Healing is possible. You can find new ways to live fully again, without being trapped in pain for years.

I know this not only because I’ve walked the path myself but also because I’ve seen it happen for so many of the people I’ve had the privilege to support.

A Gentle Invitation

If you’ve ever wondered whether grief from the past may still be shaping your present, I encourage you to explore it further.

👉 Start by reading my article: Is Unresolved Grief Holding You Back?

👉 Then take my free quiz: How Well Are You Handling Your Grief?

Click here to read the article and take the quiz

The quiz will give you insights into where you are in your grief journey. From there, you’ll have the option to book a free call with me to gain further insights through a more detailed report, where we can talk about what you’re experiencing and share a few tips about the way forward. Just to be clear, this is not a sales call. If it looks like you may need professional help, we can book a separate call to explore whether what I offer may be a good fit or not and if one of my programmes could support you in moving forward.

Final Thoughts

As we remember 11 September 2001, may we not only look back in sorrow but also look forward with hope. Let us honour the lives lost by choosing to live our own lives fully. Let us acknowledge our grief, but also embrace the possibility of resilience and renewal.

Grief does not have to define us forever. With the right support and the right steps, we can move forward, carrying our memories with love, while reclaiming our energy, our joy, and our purpose.

Today, I pray for peace, healing, and strength for all who continue to feel the weight of loss of grief events that happened a long time ago. And I stand as a reminder that it is possible to regain your capacity for happiness and you don’t need to be alone in this journey.

If this resonates with you, please take a moment to subscribe upcoming blogs and share with those in your network who may benefit. You can also explore my other free resources here. This information may be the first step in moving after loss from unresolved grief towards a life where you can thrive again, personally and professionally.