Grief is a deeply personal and complex experience—and one of its lesser-known forms is anticipatory grief. This type of grief begins before a loss has happened. It often appears when we’re aware that something important is coming to an end, such as the approaching death of a loved one or a major life change.

You might be facing this if you or someone close to you has received a terminal diagnosis. You may feel like you’re already grieving, even though the loss hasn’t yet occurred. Whether it’s you, a family member, or someone you care for who is nearing the end of life—perhaps receiving palliative, hospice, or home care—it’s natural to feel anxious and overwhelmed.

As a Grief Specialist, I often support individuals and families during this emotionally charged time. You don’t have to face anticipatory grief alone—there are ways to prepare for what’s ahead while looking after your emotional wellbeing.

What Is Anticipatory Grief?

Anticipatory grief (also known as preparatory grief) is a natural response when someone is facing a life-limiting illness or a significant change in circumstances.

It can feel confusing. One client, for example, was caring for her mother who had been diagnosed with dementia. She felt weighed down by sadness but didn’t realise what she was experiencing was grief—because her mum was still alive.

The truth is, grief can arise from any meaningful ending. In fact, there are over 40 life events that can trigger grief—many of them unrelated to death. These include things like divorce, redundancy, serious illness, or even retirement.

A Real-Life Story

My client had tried opening up to friends and family but still felt misunderstood. Eventually, she reached out for professional grief support.

Together, we explored the nature of anticipatory grief and worked through the thoughts and emotions she was carrying. Through our sessions, she learned how to process her feelings, reconnect with her life, and make the most of the precious time left with her mum.

She no longer felt lost in the sadness. Instead, she felt empowered to say the things she needed to say and share the love she still had to give—so she wouldn’t live with regrets later on.

Common Signs of Anticipatory Grief

Grief doesn’t always wait until after a loss. If you’re experiencing any of the following, you might be going through anticipatory grief:

Emotional Signs

• Intense sadness, anger, guilt, or fear

• Worry about death and dying—your own or a loved one’s

• Feeling emotionally exhausted or numb

Tip: You can’t control the outcome, but you can choose how you respond. Focus on living without regrets—say what needs to be said, show love, express gratitude, and forgive where needed.

Physical Symptoms

• Trouble sleeping

• Changes in appetite

• Tension headaches or body aches

• Ongoing fatigue

Loss of Control

• Feeling helpless as a carer or patient

• Struggling with the uncertainty of what’s ahead

It’s important to know these reactions are completely normal. They reflect how deeply you care.

How to Prepare for the Inevitable

While you can’t stop the loss from happening, you can take steps to prepare emotionally and practically:

1. Have Honest Conversations

Talk openly with your loved one about their wishes, fears, and hopes. These conversations can be painful but also healing.

2. Say What’s in Your Heart

Make a list of the things you want to say or do before the end comes. This helps prevent regrets later and ensures no important words are left unspoken.

3. Build Your Support Network

Reach out to friends, family, support groups, or professionals. Being heard and understood by others can ease the emotional burden.

4. Work with a Grief Specialist

Getting professional support can make a significant difference. As a Grief Specialist, I offer tailored guidance and tools to help you cope—both now and after the loss.

5. Create Memories

Spend meaningful time together. Take photos, record stories, write down memories. These moments will bring comfort in the future.

6. Take Care of Yourself

Looking after your own wellbeing is just as important. Eat nourishing food, rest when you can, and find small ways to relax.

Explore more self-care ideas here.

7. Plan for What Comes Next

Start thinking ahead—funeral plans, practical arrangements, and legal matters. You don’t have to do it alone. Get help when you need it.

Coping with Anticipatory Grief

This kind of grief doesn’t follow a clear path. It comes in waves. Be patient with yourself and take small steps each day. Here are a few things that might help:

• Practice mindfulness or meditation to stay grounded in the present

• Use creativity—write, paint, or play music to express your emotions

• Celebrate the time you have—share stories, laugh together, and focus on love

• Connect with your faith or spirituality if it brings you comfort

• Ask for help—don’t wait until you feel completely overwhelmed

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Anticipatory grief is a powerful experience. It speaks to the love, connection, and meaning you share with your loved one. While the emotions can be heavy, you can move through this with more clarity, peace, and purpose.

There’s no right or wrong way to grieve. Your feelings are valid. Your story matters.

Ready to explore how you're really coping?

Take a moment to reflect and read my article Is Unresolved Grief Holding You Back and take the free Self-Assessment Quiz. It’s a gentle way to better understand where you are right now and what kind of support might help.

Or, if you're ready to talk, book a free discovery call—a safe, no-pressure chat to see how I can support you or a loved one during this time.

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You’re not alone. I’m here when you’re ready.